| tear me from the bone, tear me from myself, are you feeling happy now? |
[06 Apr 2005|07:54pm] |
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i have been good for a while now. i've been haning out with Nora, Jenny, Nick, Nathan and Steve mostly... and skating a lot. but now i think i am going to stop writing in this thing cuz no one reads it. and to prove that, no one will comment on this. just you (no one) watch. good bye.
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| i just love the way you're losing your life |
[01 Apr 2005|12:01pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
] |
all right then... sunday was Easter, and i went to a movie with Nora and Jackie, we saw Miss Congeniality 2, it was ok... the first one was way better. then on monday i went and hung out with Nora from 12:30 to 10:30 and it was fun as fuck, we just sat and chilled in a park for like three hours, then she showed me a few places to skate so i got to skate so that was fricken wicked awesome. then we watched Pretty In Pink, which was a good movie... then sadly i had to leave. then on tuesday i hung out with Jenny starting at 11am and ending at 9pm. we went to the park by our houses and sat by the creek, and i called up Hantula cuz he lives right across the street from the park and he came and chilled with us for a little while. then me and Jenny went to my house and we wanted to go somewhere but we had no way of getting anywhere, so we were gonna go to Matt's house (her boyfriend's house) and take his car cuz he's out of town, but then... we had no way of even getting THERE, so i came up with the brilliant plan of taking my mom's car, cuz my parents were at a movie. so we drive to Matt's house (i drove of course! cuz i'm the best driver in the world!) but Matt's aunt was house sitting, so we were not able to get the car. so we took the car back to my house and watched tv untill my parents came home and we told my dad to take us to G-Dubbs. then we sat at G-Dubbs from 4:30 till 9. then Jenny had to go home. Pfaff, Nick, this random skater kid that let me use his board, Liz, Brit, Leta, Carly, Andy Hauke, and this other Andy kid were there. it was cool seeing Liz, Brit and Leta, cuz i hadn't seen any of them in a million years... except Leta at Nick's party last friday... but whatever. then i got kicked out of Webbs at 10:30 or so for not eating food, so i sat outside, then the guy came out and said that i was loitering and he was gonna call the cops if i didn't get off the property, so i went and sat at the gas station. fuckers. then Liz, Brit, Leta, Andy H, and Carly came outside cuz they felt bad for me. they forced me to get in Andy's car, but i just wanted to walk around. and we took Carly home and she told me that i could stay at her house that night cuz i had no where to stay cuz i told my parents that i was staying at Nick's but he was locked out of his house. but i told her that i appreciated the offer but it was ok, so Anday drove the rest of us back to Webbs, Liz, Brit and Leta left as soon as Josiah showed up. and i just sat alone in Andy's car talking to Nora on the phone. then at about... i have no idea what time Nick and Andy got in the car and we went to Nick's. Pfaff and the other Anday kid met us there, so did Josiah but he left right away. then the four of them smoked weed and set a field on fire as i talked to Jenny on the phone. it was well after midnight, that's all i know. so i just sat outside for a few hours, freezing my ass off, then at like three or something i just walk into Nick's house and fall asleep on his couch. wednesday i don't do anything all day except talk to Nora, untill 7 when i go and spend the night at Nathan and Steve's cuz they are home from illinois. haha, i talked to Nora for over two hours while Nathan watched Donnie Darko Director's Cut. then yesterday i went over to Nora's at two in the pm. and we went to a chinese food place with Jackie and this dude Ty, that dude kicks ass, he's funny as fuck. then we all went to see Guess Who, which was better then i thought it would be... but there were way too many black people and i got annoyed really quickly by that... but other the that it was good. then me and Nora went back to her house and watched Life As A House, which is a fucking AMAZING movie!!!!! then i realized that me and her always watch a movie when ever we hang out... we always do other stuff... but somewhere in there we always watch a movie... we both just appreciate good movies!!! that kicks ass... cuz i love movies. now today i have to work 5-8, and hopefully me and Nora and Jackie are hanging out after that... if Nick is having another rave... i hope so... but we shall see. but now i am going to go do something else. peace and much love.
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| i've been here before a few times, and i'm quite aware we're dying |
[26 Mar 2005|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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good... good indeed |
] |
well now, i have not been on here in a while. yes. friday (aka yesterday) me and Nora went to Nick's party (aka Amitah's Rave) and it was quite the good time. Nora is amazing, she is so beautiful, and she is such a nice person, just everything about her is so rad i can't even believe it. wicked... wicked i tell you. then i went home at one and there were deer in my front yard... that was nuts. then today i skated with Jon then with Steve a little. then me and Nathan and Steve went to the mall for no reason... i hate the mall with a passion, i seriously have no idea why i ever go there... but then again, i seriously don't know why i do a lot of things. then i went home for about one minute and Jenny picked me up, no she does not have her liscense, and yes she drove all by herself to pick me up... she took her mom's car... that was the radest thing ever. haha, yes. then we went to G-Dubbs and hung out with Nick, Hermanson, Anthony, and Josiah. then everyone except Jo left, and we just chilled with him for quite a while. then he took us both home. and now i'm here. yup. that's all. but remember... Nora is amazing. peace and much love.
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| you could slit my throat and with my 1 last gasping breath i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt |
[20 Mar 2005|10:06am] |
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mood |
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excited for things to come |
] |
well, i havn't written in hear in a while... at least nothing informative... er somethin'... but yeah, whatever. on thursday me and Nathan hung out with Kyle and we just fucked around and went to mac doe and culvers and random places like that, then we went to Nora's house and hung out with her for quite a while, then i had to go home at 7:30 to go to my sisters something or other, i'm not exactly sure what it was, but there was a lot of singing and randomness in it. on friday i went to Nick's rave party which fucking KICKED ASS!!! seriously it was fuckin' awesome as hell dude, there was fuckin' amazing music, a strobe light, black lights, black light posters, and crazy colored light spinny ball things, haha, yes! it was wicked. but then at midnight Nick's parents kick everyone except me, Ball, and Cloudy out cuz they got pissed that a few people were drinking. then me and Jon, Nathan, Nick, Ball, Cloudy, Steve and Hermanson went to G-Dubbs, but Whitey got pissed at Jon and left. then at one or so me, Jon, Nick and Nathan left and took Nathan home and we went to Nick's. Cloudy and Ball met us there. Jon threatened to kill Nick's parents cuz they were bitching at him, then they called the cops on him and he ran. but apparently he's not in jail so it's all cool. and i'm supposed to tell him to call Nick;s dad cuz he wants to be cool with Jon so he;s not kicked out of Nick's house. so that's good. then me, Ball, Cloudy and Nick went to sleep at two-thirty. then i woke up at 12:30 and my parents picked me up. and i didn't do anything at all yesterday except sleep and watch tv and listen to music and talk to Jenny and Nora on the phone. woo! me and Nora have been going out for like, five days er something... to be honest i havn't really been keeping count... i just cherish every waking moment i'm with her or talking to her. she is truly amazing. now... i know i say a lot of things are amazing, like music and movies and such other things, but Nora is THE most amazing person, i honestly can't remember when i was this happy. we are very happy together (haha, now is when you get jealous you fucker! j/k... j/k) but yeah, i'm either hanging out with Nora today, or if she can't do anything i will be hanging out with Jenny. yep... that's about it... now stop reading this and get off your fuckin' computer and go do something meaningful with your life. go enjoy shit while you're still young enough! seriously! don't let your life as a child go to waste! cuz before ya know it you'll be grown up and hating yourself for not cherishing EVERY SINGLE SWEET FUCKIN' MOMENT as an adolescent! GO! peace and much love.
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[19 Mar 2005|04:46pm] |
i am such a worthless piece of shit.
and the only way to stop being a piece of shit...
is to simply stop being
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| take a risk, take a chance, make a change, and break away |
[14 Mar 2005|04:13pm] |
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mood |
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good |
] |
saturday i went over to Jenny's house cuz she wasn't feeling too well and she wanted some company, plus i just wanted to see her. we just layed on her bed and cuddled, and she fell asleep, ha, that was funny, i don't know why. then Nathan randomly came over at like eight, then me and him walked to my house, then i told my parents to take us to Taco Hut (the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut place) then they bought both of us food, then we went to Nathan's and watched Clerks and Pi... well Nathan watched Pi, i was talking to Nora. by this time it was about one thirty, then Nathan's dad bitched at him and we went to sleep. i went to church all by myself at eight in the morning, then me and Nathan and Steve went to Bible study, then me and Nathan went to the mall. i got a skate video for six dollars (dollars being said with the "long O" sound) and a poster of the movie Underworld, and a The Used poster, both of which are very cool posters. and now i have no room on my walls or ceiling, except for about a one foot by one foot area on my ceiling. ROCK ON BITCHES! then after the mall we went to G-Dubbs with Nick, then i called Steve's house collect, even tho i have a cell phone... haha i don;t know why, but i found it hilarious. then Steve picked us up, but Nick wanted to stay all by himself. Pfaff was supposed to pick him up, but at about an hour later Pfaff called me and asked if i was still with Nick, and i said no, and he said that he couldn't pick Nick up cuz it was his sister's birthday. ha, so i wonder how and when Nick got home. but then we picked up Jenny and me and her and Nathan hung out and did nothing, then we watched Clerks, then my dad came and we took Jenny home, then i went home. then i talked to Nora for a while, then i talked to Jenny for a while. aannndddd, shit got kinda crazy with Jenny... cuz... apparently she still "likes" me... and i felt really bad, cuz i really only like her as a friend... and she was sad, but she said that she didn't want anything to change between us, and i felt the exact same way... so i think everything is cool. but yeah, now that you know shit-loads of personal shit about me... but anyways. skool was gay, except seeing my friends. that's alwasys good. now i have to do a project. peace and much love.
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| i carve my name in my face to recognize |
[12 Mar 2005|01:07pm] |
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mood |
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gooder then good |
] |
i went to Nora's house at five, Anna was there and they were watching Mean Girls, so i watched the end of that with them. then Kyle came over. then Jackie and Tim came over. Me and Nora and Kyle MADE three pizzas, like we put the sauce, cheese and all the topings on, it was amazing. then we all ate it. i gave Nora a PAK shirt and i DVD copy of Liability Reasons, and The Crow soundtrack. we watched the PAK video, everyone loved it, Jackie flipped out when she saw that we had a Pink Floyd song as the guest section song, she loves Pink Floyd. Nora and Anna flipped out when they heard Jessie's song as the credit song, heehee, it IS amazing! haha, they loved the video, and Nora asked to "autograph" it, haha, man, the weird thing is that i don't even think it's all that good anymore, just cuz i know we can do SO much better, and ARE doing so much better and filming it for the NEXT video... o well, as long as Nora likes it, it's ok. then Jen and Josh got there and we all went bowling. it was a very swell time. i had so much freaking fun it's unbelievable! then after bowling Kyle had to leave cuz it was eleven, but the rest of us went to Denny's. and Josh hung four forks from his tongue stud, haha, THAT was cool! then Josh was even MORE amazing and payed the ENTIRE bill for us all, i thank you profusely Josh. and he has a kick ass mohawk too... just thought i'd mention that. then Jackie had to leave. then the rest of us stayed a little while longer, then we left and Jen took me and Nora and Anna, and Josh and Tim went in Tim's truck. the roads were SO shitty and slippery and scary, and Anna was really scared cuz last year she got in a really bad car accident, so me and her were cuddled up in the back seat... cuz THAT would keep us safe! ha, but no seriously, Jen is such an amazing person and i really appreciate how responsible she was and how carefully she was driving, it really is nice to know that my friends know when to stop goofing around and take responsibility, that means a lot to me. then we all went back to Nora's but Jen and Josh were tired so they went home, and Tim left too. by this time it was about 12:30 am. then me and Anna and Nora all just layed on her couch and had a giant cuddling party, haha, it was crazy cool, we were all like, inter-twined, it was a good time. i love those two girls more then you could understand, they are both so amazing. then at 1:15 my brother picked me up, and all-in-all i had an AMAZING time, it was one of the best days of my life. hardcore style. then i got home at two cuz the roads were still shitty so it took a while to get home. then i slept till noon-thrity... um yeah... 12:30. now i am here waiting to go to Jenny's house. um, that's all for now. peace and much love.
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| i have got much left to fear, in the place of safety, i am fortunate to be alive |
[11 Mar 2005|01:16pm] |
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mood |
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 "stoked" |
] |
last night me and Nathan and my dad went to the mall, it was gay, i officially hate that place, there was nothing good there at all. so it was a waste of time. then i went to Nathan's house and chilled with him and Steve and talked to Jenny on the phone for a really long time. i love that girl a whole bunch. then i went home at eleven, then talked to Jenny a while longer, then went to sleep. then i woke up at eight and watched Liability Reasons and ate frosted flakes. then Paul took me to get Nora a present and i did that, but i didn't get what i wanted, so i am slightly disappointed in myself. ah well. but i am fuckin' psyched as fuck for Nora's party bitches! holy shit it's gonna be rad as hell! hells yes bitches. um... yeah, and i bought the movie Clerks for six dollars at half-price books, and i just watched that and it's a fuckin' great movie. it's so much more then a comedy, there is so much meaning and feeling begind it, it is so amazing, i love it. annnnd now i am doing nothing and trying to get a hold of Nick cuz he's the only person right now that can help me get what i wanna get for Nora. that boy needs to be awake now. and remember to buy the new Filler Bunny comic on the twenty-third!!! peace and much love.
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| HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON! |
[10 Mar 2005|05:28pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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last night i talked to Nora on the phone a little bit, and i talked to the Girl, she's holdin' on strong, and doing better. skool was gay, i don't recall any cool stuff happening, other then just hangin' out with Nora, Anna, Jessie, Steve, and Nathan, which is always cool no matter where i am. haha, o yeah, me and Anna switched shoes for the last half of the day, heehee, and she wears an eight in girls sizes, and i wear a ten in guys... so, needless to say my shoes were quite large on her, and her shoes were a bit tight on me, haha, but it was hilarious cuz she takes super good care of her shoes, like she cleans 'em and everything, and my shoes are completely torn apart from skating, and they're fuckin' filthy too. ha, yeah, so that was cool. and Jessie needed a bandaid for her finger, so i went to the office with her, and she asked for a bandaid and they gave her litterally thirty bandaids. it was ridiculous and hilarious, so i thought i would just mention that. yup. and in about twenty minutes i am going to the mall to get Nora something for her birfday, cuz her PARTAY is tomorrow, and i am FUCKING EXCITED about that, cuz it's going from five in the evening till one in the morning, and JENN is gonna be there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy shit!!!!!!! you prolly don't know who Jenn is but she's this girl that graduated from wisco last year and she was seriously one of THE MOST KICK ASS people i have ever known, and i havn't seen her since i went to her graduation party in the middle of june, so i am SO looking forward to seeing her. and i know Anna is gonna be there, and of course SHE'S amazing as well! hmmm, yeah. i just shoveled my stupid driveway and it took me 25min... but at least i got to listen to music :) i LOVE music! um. yeah. that's all for now. peace and much love.
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| yeeeeehaaaawwwww!!!!!!!!!! |
[09 Mar 2005|09:33pm] |
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MARCH 23!!!!!!!!!!!!! bitches!!!!!!!!!!!! the new FILLER BUNNY COMIC comes out MARCH 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just thought i would let all you people know that. feel grateful. peace and much love.
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| don't throw it away |
[09 Mar 2005|09:13pm] |
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mood |
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good |
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last night i called up Nicholas and i went to his house and Pfaff was there and i have no idea if i'm spelling his name right, so i apologize if i'm not. and then i breifly saw Justin Lynch whom i have not seen in goddamn ages. then me and Nick and Pfaff went to G-Dubbs, Cloudy met us there after a while. he's actually pretty cool when he's not threatening me with a gun. then we went to mac doe and got a huge bag full of fries and a whole shit load of ice cream for a dollar eighty-nine. Jenny was there for a few minutes and i saw Megan, whom i hadn't seen in a long time as well. then Cloudy took me home, haha, he is THE craziest driver i have EVER witnessed, EVER! haha, o man, he tore out the passenger side seatbelt and i asked hom why and he said "cuz if i get in an accident, i don't wanna be the only one to die." hahahahaha! that is the greatest thing i heard ALL week! heehee, very cool. then i didn't do my homework. then i talked to the Girl that i talked about in the last entry for four hours... from 9:20 to 1:20, i think it helped her a lot, cuz she was really happy and laughing and all that good stuff by the last hour or so. so she's on her way to getting better. i feel so bad for her, i love her with all my heart... in a friendship sort of way, so don;t get any ideas that i'm gonna take advantage of her weakend state of mind or any such shit you bastards. sorry, just gotta cover all the shit that may come up before it does, ya know. but then suprisingly i wasn't abnormally tired at skool today, although i did sleep through five periods today... but i would have done that even id i had gotten more then 5 hours of sleep, cuz i didn't do ANYTHING in those classes. but skool was gay anyway. then after skool i made my mom take me to pick up Jenny, then we went to Nathan's house and watched Will & Grace... yes, that's right, i watched a show with gay people in it... i'm becoming tolerant... aka, weak. o well. then we watched Garden State, but Nathan left in the middle of it to eat then go to church and me and Jenny had the house to ourselves for about half an hour then Steve and Jon came home. then they left to pick up Amanda and me and Jenny were alone for another half an hour, then Nathan came home again. then Steve, Jon and Amanda came. and we all just sorta chilled. and basically the entire five hours or so, me and Jenny were cuddled on Nathan's couch, ha, i dunno why, but it was cool, i love that girl... just friends... mmmyep. then Matt came and picked us up at nine and took me home. now i'm here. and there ya have my entire life story... not really... just yesterday evening and all of today. yes. you should feel privledged... you bastard. no... i'm kidding, i prolly love you. cuz i;m just full of it... love, i mean. HA! peace and much LOVE.
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| story time |
[08 Mar 2005|04:36pm] |
there once was a Girl who lived in a very nice house. her parents were nice, Christian people, who had a lot of money. this Girl was never physically hit by either her father or her mother. but she was abused every day. her mother would tell her she was ugly and fat, and would still expect this Girl to do her very best in school. this Girl would get straight A's with a rare B every once in a while. she would get screamed at and told she was stupid by her father. nothing she did was ever good enough for her parents, ever. this Girl had grown up in the shadow of her older sister who never got anything less than an A, ever. this Girl's sister had long blonde hair and very athletic. while this Girl would dye her hair constantly and wore all black and was never in any sports, except soccer. but her mother told her she was too fat. this girl took this every day for fourteen years and she always took it in stride and never really paid any attention to it. she wouldn't let her parents ridiculous lies get to her, because that's what she knew they were... LIES. then she met a boy. he was extremely kind and caring, and made her feel better about herself. but little by little he would get worse. he stopped being as caring. this made things at home a lot harder for the Girl. she started to get depressed, and she would cut. then the boy realized this and stopped being as cruel. he was back to normal. but she didn't stop getting depressed. and she didn't stop cutting. the boy started to get mad, he would yell at her and call her stupid whenever she told him about her cuts. so she stopped telling him. she kept it all to herself. she would wear long pants and a hooded sweatshirt when it was 90 degrees out. she did anything and everything she could to hide her pain, her sadness. she felt so alone. then she started to realize that the boy really only wanted her as a "play thing" but she still went along with it for fear of being alone. the Girl did not want to be alone. so she stayed with the boy for two long years, though he wasn't bad all the time, he could actually be really nice still. but what she didn't realize is that even though the amount of time he was mean wasn't that much, that she was being torn, slowly, apart from the inside. she found herself crying, a lot. she found herself trying many kinds of drugs to try and take her mind off all the bad stuff. but it didn't work. the drugs just made things worse. and things were getting pretty bad. she hated the person she saw in the mirror. all those years of hearing that she was ugly and over-weight made her see herself that way, even though, to the rest of the world she was an extremely attractive Girl. but she hated herself so much that she didn't care what happened to her, or what she did to herself. and she thought that she deserved all the abuse she recieved, and worse. she had no idea how beautiful she was, and that she deserved so much better, she had been brainwashed by her parents and by that boy.
think that story was horribly disturbing? i sure as fuck do. and what makes it even worse is that i didn't make it up. this really happened to this Girl. i really want to fuckin' annihilate her parents and that fucker that she went out with. but she released herself from that boy. she realized that he was doing horrible shit to her... not physically (unless you count what she did to herself because of this boy and her parents), but mentally and emotionally. now all she has to do is deal with her fuck-up-as-hell parents. when she told me all this stuff i couldn't help but start crying, i just feel so bad for her. cuz honestly this Girl is SO BEAUTIFUL, i just wanna fuckin' slit her parents throats and nail that boys balls to a piece of wood and jam a screwdriver up his dick-hole and rape him up the ass with a fuckin' soddering iron. then saw his shins in half and break ever bone in his hands, then cut off his eyelids and cheeks. then just let him lie there and fuckin' suffer. goddamn mother fucker. sorry, that was really graphic but ya gotta understand the way i feel about this boy after what he fuckin' did to this Girl. holy shit he needs to suffer. i hope you agree. peace and much love.
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| come and dance with me! |
[08 Mar 2005|04:28pm] |
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mood |
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 sleeeeeeepy |
] |
last night i talked to a BAJILLION people on the telephone! i talked to Liz, and Anna, and Jenny, then i went to sleep at nine. then Nora called me at ten and i talked to her till 11:30, i love that girl so much. then today at skool it was gay as usual... um... yeah... then after skool i went to the doctor cuz i'm still sick and when i saw the doctor last monday he said that if i wasn't better by last firday that i should see him again on monday and i'd prolly hafta go to the hospital... so i wasn't too excited about the doctor today, but it turned out that the sickness that i had, i got over it, but i got a sinus infection while i was still sick with the other thing so that's what's wrong with me now. so now i hafta take a pill twice a day for two weeks. FUN! more like FUCK! i hate pills. seriously. but now i'm listening to music, eating bagles and cream cheese and contimplating whether or not i should do my homework... nope. peace and much love.
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| once again you catch me when i fall |
[07 Mar 2005|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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good, except tired |
] |
yesterday me and Steve went and picked up Butch and we were all excited about skating the skatepark but what do we find when we get there? SNOW! the ENTIRE park was completely covered in snow, it was the gayest thing ever. so we go to mac doe and eat food and make fun of people. then we go to Phase 2 but of course it's closed cuz they're gay and they close at four on sundays and by this time it was 5:30... poopsex. so we take Butch home and go to Steve's. we skate out in the parkinglot for a little while then i poop. then Steve goes inside and i sit outside waiting for Nick to get there. then me and Nick go have a night time picnic table session and it was fucking great i start it off with a 50-50 then Nick does a noseslide to fakie, then i do a boardslide then he dose a 50-50 then we both try krooked grinds for like half an hour, maybe more i dunno, then Jon gets there and Nick lands a Krooked grind PERFECTLY, i mean seriously, it was beautiful, then i'm like "hey i should land one now" and then i DO! it was so cool! one krooked grind right after the other. ha. yes! THAT'S the way things should be! late night picnic table sesh all the way bitches!!! i was very excited. then Steve and Amanda and Amber came over by us as Nick was telling me and Jon the story of his CRAZY ASS FUCKING night. truely it was crazy. but then Amanda and Amber leave and we all chill in Nathan;s room cuz he just go back from work. me and Nick and Steve ate potato salad and Nick drinks one of Whitey's beers... haha, and we all decide that on the 18th we're going to Lake Geneva and skating till seven then we;re going to the dog tracks and betting on dogs as we scream obscenities at them and while we eat cheap food. it will be a good time, garauntied. then i went home and talked to Jenny for an hour. and today skool was gay except i got to see Anna after not seeing her for FOUR WHOLE DAYS, haha, yes, i know i'm very retarded, but i love the girl, she's crazy as a crazy fuck. aaaaaannnnnd nothing cool happened at skool... um... nope. not one thing. so i'm gonna go either try and call Liz and if that doesn't work out i'm gonna go sleep. o... and for the record, i had the best weekend of my life this weekend. the only thing that could have made it better is if i could have hung out with Liz, Leta, Britt, Lisa, Anna and Trisha some time in there... but it will have to wait till a later date. peace and much love.
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| going down with the institution |
[06 Mar 2005|01:34pm] |
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mood |
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good |
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yesterday i chilled with Nathan and Steve a little bit, then my parents took me to see the movie Cursed, it was pretty good. then i went to hang out with Nora, yay! it was very fun, we hung out at her house a little bit, and ate pizza, her boyfriend Tim was there as well, he's awesome. then we went driving around cuz we had about an hour to kill until we were going bowling. we went to k-mart, haha, that was crazy, and i have no idea why, it just was. then we went bowling and Nora's friend Jackie met us there and we played two games, the first game Nora got first with an amazing score of 118, Jackie got second, Tim got third... i got last with a discracing 103. then the secind game Tim kicked all out asses hardcore style with like 130 er something, but i got second with 110. Nora got last... but we all had a fuckin' blast, it was a very good time. then Tim and Nora took me to the mac doe in big bend where my brother was picking me up, then i asked my parents if i could spend the night at Nick's... it was eleven o'clock at this point, my parents got all pissed cuz i kept arguing with them as to why i couldn't... and sadly to say i never did spend the night at Nick's. but then i ate french fries and drank lemonade... but the lemonade wasn't sour enough so i added some lemon juice which after i filled half the cup with it, i found out that it had expired Febuary 28, 2004.... yes 2004. haha, but i drank it anyways... cuz i don't care. then i woke up at 8:45 ate poptarts and drank cherry soda and walked to Bible study. then i went out to eat with my family cuz it's my dad's birthday... but who cares about him... today is Nora's birthday!!!!! HAPPY BIRFDAY NORA!!! i luv you! but now i am waiting for Steve to be done doing gay shit for his dad so we can go skating... cuz i love skateboarding. i want to have sex with my skateboard... i should go do that. peace and much love.
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| it's better when i'm gone |
[05 Mar 2005|11:06am] |
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mood |
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yesterday i went over to Jenny's house at two, i had a blast, we did nothing but just fuckin' goof off and "wrestle" around, it was hilarious, we were playing around like two little kids, haha, best time i've had in a long time :) then at five we went to mac doe to meet Matt, then we went to Mindy's house where Mindy cut Jenny's hair... she has a mohawk now! (sexy) haha, yeah, it's fricken awesome looking, then we picked up Andrew, Matt's 12 year old brother and Matt's thirty-something uncle... i wish i could remember his name, cuz he's awesome, then we went to the GOLDFINGER concert!!!! woo! it was amazing... truely. their first opening band was gay... some whiney emo band... but the second opening band, The Start, was indeed very good, they had a chick singer, which, of course, made them a lot cooler. but then when Goldfinger played the place just exploded and the mosh pit was amazing, even Andrew (12 years old man!!!) went in. and so did Jenny. and OF COURSE i went in... i love mosh pits to death!!! i can't wait till Lamb of God!!! FUCK!!! but anyways, right during the last song Matt got punched in the face by a security guard and got kicked out... very very very gay. but this was Goldfingers last preformance at the Rave, EVER. cuz they got super pissed cuz the rave didn't let 'em do shit, and they got the entire place to scream and chant "fuck the rave" for a really long time, and the drummer showed us his wee-wee... it was gross, but hilarious, and Goldfinger got kicked out and is never allowed to return... not that they would want to anyway! damn fuck ass rave bitches. then i went home at midnight, stayed up till two eating french fires and cherry cheese cake and drinking vanilla coke and watching familyguy and futurama. fun. i woke up at 9:30 this morning cuz Nick called me... haha, he had a crazy adventure last night... you can ask him about it if you want, cuz i'm not saying SHIT. then i went to mac doe to visit Jenny and eat hashbrowns. and today i am going bowling with NORA at 8:30!!! YAY!!! NORA!!! but yeah... i'm gonna go get free music from pepsi and i-tunes... it's very cool. peace and much love.
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| safety pins!!!!! |
[03 Mar 2005|07:21pm] |
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o man, therapy was retarded, i'm never going back. that's all i have to say about that unless you wanna ask me in person, then i can tell you all the dirty little details (hint: there really are no dirty details, just tarded ones). haha, o yeah, this morning at nine Jenny called me and told me she overslept and she needed to get a ride to skool, so i made Paul get up and we took her to skool. ha, i thought it was funny. then Paul bought me hashbrowns from mac doe (fuckin' rock on! i have been craving those forEVER!) and coffee, so that was a treat. then i watched gay tv, listened to Pink Floyd and ate half a gallon of strawberry ice cream. aaaannnnnnnddddd now i'm doing nothing. yay! peace and much love.
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| i beg and plead with eternity |
[03 Mar 2005|02:12pm] |
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last night me and Nathan and Steve and Jon spent the night at Chris's. i hate Chris, i plan on never hanging around that guy ever again. he talked so much shit about Nick and Josiah, and the only reason i didn't fucking go crazy on him is cuz i know i would get my ass kicked, not only by him, but Jon would either back him up or just tear me away from him. and then i was talking to Jenny on the phone and Chris just fucking stole my phone away and started sexually harassing her, i told him to fucking quit that shit, and that he was a fucker, but i dunno if he just didn't care, or if he didn't think i was serious. i swear to God, if that fucker pulls any shit like that with any of my friends i'll fuckin' slit his throat in his sleep. fucker. i hate him. but me and Nathan watched cool movies, and me and Steve made breakfast sandwiches at two in the morning. so other than the fact that Chris is a flaming faggot last night was decent. i like hanging out with Jon Nathan and Steve. i love those guys. FUCK. Chris was being such a fuckin' dick to Steve and Nathan too! holy fuck, Steve was trying to sleep and Chris kept fucking humping him and lifting him up and licking him and all this gay shit. and he did the same thing to Nathan except Nathan wasn't trying to sleep. Fuck i hate Chris, i honestly don't know why Jon likes him so much. o well. but i have to go to therapy now. peace and much love.
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| Where was God when i lost my mind?... where was love when i felt like hate? |
[02 Mar 2005|04:23pm] |
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ooooooooo my goooooodness! all these fucking pop-up fuck lickers causing me to shout when my throat is still all blobble flobble wobble! holy shit! more~! FUCK DAMMIT! ah. i care not... acctually i do, they piss me off a lot. but anyways. last night i jammed a safety pin through the skin inbetween my thumb and pointer finger. Anna is gonna give me an eyebrow ring to put in there. YEEE! skool was tarded and very boring today. i was very awake still. i only got four and a half hours of sleep, it's better then three... and i'm still not tired... that's fricken awesome. i should be on wakey-wakey jittery-jittery pills all the time! yeehaw! tomorrow i get to go to a CRAZY guy place! yes! and on friday i get to hang out with Sir Nicholas! yes! and on saturday i get to go bowling with Nora! yes! finally! me and Nora have wanted to go bowling forEVER now, and we finally get to go, and i do believe Trisha and my gay lover (Anna) might be coming with as well. very wicked sick my friends... VERY wicked sick! and today i think i am going to a party cuz i have NO SKOOL TOMORROW!!! FUCK YEAH BITCHES!!! and no skool on friday of course... duh... bitches. o o o o o o o o o o funny story of my craziness! aight, well today at skool we had this Bible reading thingy where we're all supposed to read the Bible for twenty minutes er somthin' like that, and i have gym right after that, so i was sitting on the gym floor with the rest of my class and of course i wasn't reading cuz i can;t pay attention like that (i got soul but i'm not a soldier... i'm listening to a song that says that, so i had to type it! BUT BACK TO MY STORY) so i'm just staring at the gym floor, and i started to get that feeling ya get when you don't move for a while, like you're floating, and then my vision got all cloudy and fuzzy, and i had the thought in my head that i was in a basketball court in heaven, and then i just started laughing out loud and said "haha, i AM in a basketball court!" it was hilarious! cuz everybody was reading silently to themselves and some random fuckass (myself) just says some random fuckass thing! heehee, it was cool, people looked at me funny, and the teacher told me to be quiet and read. ha. good times. well i'm off to go call Nathan and see what the dealyo is with the partay. peace and much love.
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| Why??????????????????? |
[01 Mar 2005|08:52pm] |
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aw man, yesterday i woke up and felt like total shit, stayed home from skool, went to the doctor, found out that i have some really bad infection in my head... no, not a sinus infection, but i have to take these little pills and i have to take a lot of them, yesterday i had to take six, today i had to take five, but they make me really awake and jittery and it's extra hard for me to consentrate. so last night i went to bed at 10:30 and i tossed and turned until 3:30 and i just fuckin' flipped out, i went into my parents room and was like "holy shit! i'm gonna fuckin' die! i'm in fuckin' hell, i can't sleep at all." and my parents were like "o yeah, we forgot to tell you that you would prolly have a hard time sleeping" fuckers. so they give me a few sleeping pills, which don't work very well at all, i don;t get to sleep till around 5:00, then my alarm goes off at 6:20. then my parents make me take more of those fuckin' jittery pills and are like "go to sleep, you're not going to skool" so i try to sleep but it doesn't work, i think i might have slept for maybe two hours. i got up at 9:30 and ate food, even though i wasn't hungry. then i told my brother to take me to skool cuz i was so fuckin' awake and i was bored out of my mind and i had nothing better to do. so i get there in the middle of 3rd hour... Advanced Algebra, haha, Mr. Thierfelder just goes off for like ten minutes praising me for making an effort to come to skool even tho i felt like shit. it was awesome, i love that guy, he is so fuckin' crazy as shit. haha. the rest of the day was normal except i have not been this awake in so long i can't even remember, but it is super hard for me to concentrate, i couldn't even read one page of a book it was so bad. but then after skool i chilled with Nathan, and found out that Steve spent one hundred fifteen dollars of the 125 dollars of PAK money. that made me sad. poopy. but now i have to write a paper for american lit, do advanced algebra, and some other homework i forgot what it was. peace and much love.
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